-Emily Bronte
Having a baby made me realize how much I love Ty. I didn't know how much I could love Ty before now. I figured it would probably change and grow when I saw how much he loved our girl, and it did. But it really happened when he took care of me.
I was scared to give birth. I shouldn't have been. The drugs were wonderful. I should have been scared about recovery which for some reason never crossed my mind. I just never expected that it would be that bad. I have a high pain tolerance and I thought I would be immune to most pregnancy ailments. And I was. Pregnancy was a breeze.
Post-pregnancy was a slap in the face. Physically and emotionally. We got back from the hospital and I couldn't take care of myself. I had to have a stool to get in and out of bed. Ty had to help me do everything. EVERYTHING. I've never been so dependent in my life. I couldn't take care of my baby either. The one thing I was supposed to be be able to do and I couldn't do it. I've never felt so helpless and inadequate in my life. Every part of my body and soul hurt. I just wanted to sleep or cry, or both.
But Ty did everything for me. He took care of me. He loved me. He has always loved me but he let me know it in every tiny thing he did for me. He made sure I was resting enough. He made sure I was eating enough. And he let me know that I was enough.
He never once complained when he had to help change my "dressings" and even laughed that he knew how to do it better than I did. He was up in the middle of the night cheering me on as I tried to nurse (which is anything but natural) even when he had to work at 7am. I didn't change a single diaper til our daughter was over a week old. Oh how he took care of me, telling me to go sleep when I was turning into a sleep deprived mommy zombie.
Adapting to a child was hard on both of us for different reasons but this man that I married, that I love, showed me what it was to truly deeply love someone.
I will never know how I lucked out to be on the receiving end of such love but I'm endlessly grateful that he is mine.
