Husbandisms 4

These are just the quotes from tonight...

Listening to Pandora and "Christmas Tree" by Lady Gaga comes on
T: Holy cow. Lady Gaga's turned Christmas into a whore holiday.
(If you've heard the song, you know what we're talking about. If you haven't... don't.)

Ty gets home from home teaching
Ty: Their baby was REALLY cute. It didn't look like an alien at all.

Cleaning the kitchen..
T: I like the floor with socks. You can do cool moves.

Ladies and gentlemen.. how did I find this weirdo that's so perfect for me?

Unsolved Mystery

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. 

LITERALLY. 

I woke up on my husband's side and he woke up on mine.

We have no idea how it happened. I rolled over and looked at him and then kinda growled, "What am I doing here?!" I thought maybe he went to the rest room, got too lazy upon his return and climbed in on my side. False. He never went to the restroom. He suspects that I steam-rollered him in the night. How do you not notice if you're being steam-rollered? I may be small but I'm not that small. I guess we'll never know.. 

{This is the usual routine... not last night tho}

Husbandisms 3

I had just gotten home from school, very late in the evening.
T: *big hug* Shall we go change into our red matching pajamas and hang out?
E: Sure.
Five minutes later... as we're both wearing red one piece long underwear.
T: Oh no. What if someone comes to the door?

I brought Ty to a work party with me. I have about 20 coworkers and everyone brought a companion for the evening so the party was huge. Ty was clearly overwhelmed. We were playing Murder in the Dark. We were killed almost immediately so we're sitting quietly with all the other victims in the dark.
T: What would Phil Dunfee do in a situation like this? ... He's a really social guy. He'd have this whole place laughing.

In a teeny tiny voice Ty whispers, "Come here, cooookie." while attempting to fit his hand in his very tall glass to dunk the aforementioned.

And... Grand Finale!!! 

Discussing my past boyfriends
T: You dated some really ugly people. I mean, baby, what were you thinking?
E: *fit of giggles*
T: Seriously baby, admit it. You made some mistakes before you got with this.
E: *giggles continue*
T: Admit it! One day you'll have to come to terms with this.

Bandwagon

Well.. it's that time of year that everyone posts about everything they're thankful for.. especially their dogs they love so much. It's Day 3 and you're running out of people already? {Who doesn't love animals? This girl.} And it's good that we are thankful but it's even better to be thankful all year long, not just because of this supposed holiday where we stole the Indian's land. {I've seen Addams Family Values... I know the truth}

Wow, this is starting to sound mean. I just don't like dogs. {One time, I got home and my roommate was sobbing under her covers and I asked her what was wrong and she wouldn't tell me. It was only months later I found out her dog died and she wouldn't tell me because she knew of my apathy towards animals and knew I wouldn't care. She was probably right.} Wow. Are there enough segues yet? Didn't think so. 

Another time, a roommate and I were really down on ourselves. Our dating lives were less than amazing and both of us had experienced some heartbreak. We decided that we didn't need a guy to make us happy.. and then we burned our bras. Just kidding. Then we decided we would find things to be happy about. So we started texting each other every hour while we were at school. Our texts would include what we were thankful for, and they could be as serious or silly as we wanted. And you know what? There was a change in a single day. And we did this for a couple weeks. And we were happy. And now we're both married and happy.{Note: We didn't meet our husbands the next day or anything.. this was actually like two years before I got married and she got engaged.) What I'm saying, is that when we're thankful, what we have is all we need. 

So right now, my mom-mobile is dead and we live in a dinky apartment and I don't have a dishwasher BUT I'm thankful for my sweet husband, my eternal marriage, my education, the proximity of my apartment to my school, my best friends, my little brother, the gospel, Harry Potter, heat, extended family, Netflix, and the Internet to Skype with my niece, Ash Ketchum. 

{Me and my sweet husband... and our eternal marriage}

So be thankful. Always. 

Halloweenie

Welp, this was our first Halloween together. (Last year didn't count - Ty had to work. Boo.) And we were having a really hard time coming up with costume ideas. We knew we wanted to go as a couple. That's the joy of being married. So I was coming up with jillions of couples costumes and Ty was pretty down on all of them. Except Angela and Dwight from The Office... and I said no to that because I wanted to look cute and I hate cats.

Anyway, we finally decided on something and come Saturday morning, we set out on our quest for some red long Johns. And boy what a quest it was. The amount of time spent in the car could have easily gotten us to St. George. This was our itinerary for the day. 

1. Savers
2. Target
3. Wal-Mart
4. Uncle Sam's
5. Five Guys (Pit Stop.. we were losing focus)
6. Costco
7. Sport's Authority
8. Wal-Mart.. again
9. K-Mart
10. Sportsmans Warehouse 

We finally found our beloved long johns at Sportmans Warehouse but we were so exhausted that we happily spent way too much for long underwear. We were so desperate, we considered dyeing white long johns and then decided that we didn't have enough time and we'd just go with sweats. But I'm telling you, those babies were worth the trouble. 

 

We were Mr. and Mrs. Incredible!! And dang, we looked good. A few funny things about this picture, these are one piece long johns therefore my main concern of the night was allowing myself enough time in the restroom so I wouldn't wet my pants. Second, Tyler and I are wearing the same size of women's underwear.  On the bright side, they were a little large on me. So a very successful Halloweenie indeed. Give us ten years, and we might have the rest of the Incredible family. 

Husbandisms 2

A conversation about friendships past and present.

E: Some things just have to be fixed over a late night and tears. But I'm married now, so those days are over.
T: If you ever needed to have a sleepover to work things out with your girlfriends, I'd be okay with that.
E: aww. Really? *About to swoon over my sensitive man* What would you do?
T: I'd stay home and play nintendo.
E: *swoonage terminated* So were you saying that because you're a nice person or because you want to play nintendo.
T:Maybe a little bit of both.

T: (chomping down on a slice of French Silk Pie from Village Inn) You know what I think? This pie is from heaven.
E: oh yeah.
T: yeah.. like I think heaven caters to Village Inn.
E: Why would heaven cater to Village Inn when there are plenty of other cool places to cater to?
T: I don't know. Networking?

Ty and I are browsing pinterest. We see a pin that reads, "When you say 'gullibile' out loud, it sounds like 'oranges'." I can see Ty reading it and then... very slowly he says, "orrraannges." There's a brief, albeit awkward, pause. We glance at each other and very timidly he says, "Oh.. they got me. yeah.. .they did."

Old age becomes you

We're getting old. 

We don't like to go anywhere after 9:00pm.  And our social life consists of eating dinner together and possibly watching an episode of Greys or Modern Family.. if we don't do homework, or just go to bed. 

But mainly, my desire to be tan has been overcome by my desire to not get skin cancer. 

But at least we're getting old, together. 

Valentine's Day

 Yes, I am aware that Valentine's Day was roughly eight months ago. But roughly eight months ago, my camera's battery died and the charger was MIA until about a month ago. So instead of just writing about it sans pictures.. I waited til I found my charger so here we are. 

This is what I remember. Both of us were really busy on Valentine's Day so we decided to celebrate on the 15th instead. I got home from work and this little surprise was waiting for me. 

So while Ty was in class, I "taped" {I used stickers} all these hearts on the walls that said things that I loved about him. {He still has them :)}

{Notice we have different furniture now then we did eight months ago}

Then I picked Ty up from school and we went on our way to Outback Steakhouse with a giftcard from our wedding. Ty wanted to drive so I got in the passengers seat. Then he told me that he had a gift for me. I was a little confused because he already got me roses. He said it was under my seat. So I rummaged around and pulled out a Macy's bag. I was super curious/confused at this point. 

He got me the watch of my dreams!! Seriously, I made him walk past it every time we went to the mall. I never thought he was going to buy it for me because I've been looking at that watch every time I went to the mall since the beginning of time. That picture below.. that's my happy face. Overall.. excellent first Valentine's Day. We're looking forward to more in the future. 

Remember back when my hair was long and I had awesome bangs? Sometimes I miss them. Maybe they'll be back next Valentine's Day. 

Long Time Coming...

Well, this has definitely been a long time coming. I've been working on this T-shirt quilt for over a year now.. It was pieced together before I was even married, tied with my grandma and aunt in April or May and I finally bound it this week. I don't think I'll ever be binding anything again. That was annoying. 

Not all the shirts are BYU shirts, they're just all from my time at BYU thus the EFY and FOL shirts. Holy acronyms. 

I would like to take this moment to thank anyone that I ever texted in the process of obtaining all those BYU shirts. Just know that I'll think of you whenever we use it even if I've since deleted you from my contacts. 

My Two Cents

So back in July when everyone was talking about Harry Potter and the end of everything - I never said anything. Mostly because I was living in a state of denial. I am not joking. I put off seeing the movie because I knew once I did, it was all over. 

I got the first book on my 11th birthday from Emilee Young at the surprise birthday party that Darci Nelson threw for me. It is no coincidence that in the first pages of the book, Harry also turned 11. 

After that, I devoured the 2nd and 3rd. I made my mom take me to Costco the morning the 4th book was available. I waited in line for the 5th book in my chinese take out pajamas with my aunt and uncle in Arizona. A group of friends and I had a party until it was time to pick up the 6th. My brother and I waited impatiently  for the 7th. I read all through the night. 

We eventually saw the 8th and final movie and I cried from beginning to end. even though I knew how it would end. I cried when it was sad, when it was happy, when it was tense. I cried because I knew this was it. I cried because the end of Harry Potter means the end of an era. I cried because I know these people. Harry. Hermione. Ron. Dumbledore. Ginny. Fred. George. Luna. Neville. Dobby. Snape. Sirius. Remus. Tonks. James. Lily And I know what they've done for me. I could always count on their integrity, loyalty and faith. Their blatant disregard for rules and their goodness of heart. And most of all, their endless love. If I've learned anything from them at all, it is the fact that love conquers all. When you have love, you have everything. 

Thank you, Harry. 

Husbandisms 1

Ty is hilarious.. and no one knows it because he is so reserved around everyone except for me. So from now on, I'm recording all of the hilarious that comes out of him.

{This picture has nothing to do with anything. But no ones likes a post without pictures!}

As we're making the bed:

T: Don't tuck the sheet in!!!

E: uh.. we're making the bed. I'm making hospital corners.

T: It's just.. I'm not a candy bar.

E: What?!

T: I don't like being wrapped so tight! .. you know, like a candy bar.

In the car, listening to ghetto beats:

T: When we have kids, we're gonna roll like this.

E: jamming to the beat

T: We're gonna have a... what was it again?

E: Oh.. the hamster car?

T: No.. the "something" wagon.

E: Swagger Wagon

T: Yeah.. a Swagger Wagon

We're laying on the couch, in the dark, the credits of Bones are rolling while a piano plays in the background. I'm laying on one half of the sectional and I see Ty sit up on the other side. I glance over to find my sweet husband jamming on his air piano with all of the feeling a concert pianist could ever muster. I fall into a silent fit of giggles, which said husband doesn't notice for a couple minutes on account of his eyes are squeezed shut with all those feelings he was feeling.

We're eating watermelon... straight out of the watermelon.

T: I wonder who cracked open a watermelon and just tried it, you know?

E: I wonder who decided 'oh, it's not poisonous... yet."

T: Like someone just cracked it open and started eating the flesh.

E: I bet this is what they ate in the Garden of Eden. I bet watermelon was everyone.

T: *Makes faces, pretends like he's eating, noises of sheer delight, several "Mmmmm"s*

E: What are you doing?

T: I'm just doing what Adam did when he first had watermelon.

Don't worry, there will be much more to come.

So gangster, I'm so thug

So Tyler and I forget our wedding song frequently. You would think that it would be an important thing to remember but in all honesty, I think he picked it off of Pandora. Then he downloaded it the night before our wedding and accidentally downloaded the sampler version so it was only like.. 30 seconds long. Which turned out to be really awkward. I think we replayed it three times and then the awkward was too much for us.

Our real wedding song would have been this:

If you actually listen to the words, it's about breaking up. Which would have probably cursed this marriage from the beginning. It's also Nelly so not really wedding appropriate. But when it comes on the radio, we get super gangsta. We throw our hands around like Nelly does. We emphasize the "love of my life, my shorty, my wife" part and we shake our heads cuz we're just feeling the song so much.

Definitely not traditional but neither are we :)

Summer Summer Summer

We've kind of had a low key summer (if you don't count Disneyland... or kidney stones). Which is why you haven't heard from us in awhile. But seriously, with Ty slaving away for the man (I don't know who the man is) and me working my fan-danny off to catch up in my class after the kidney stones, we've just been boring people.

We found out that the student discount at Wynnsong Movie Theater is pretty sick and so we went three times in two weeks. That's what we were living for.

However, something I've been counting down to for forever is going to visit my fam in the deserts of WA. This is the part where you're confused because Washington is supposed to be this lush green state where granolas and vampires congregate, not a barren waste land. Well here's the deal... no one tells you that only half of Washington is beautiful. The east side is like the ugly half sister no one talks about. The east side is probably told to hide in her room when company comes over.

Either way, I was pumped to get over there. And Ty was wondering what the heck we were going to do for the whole week. But boy oh boy, we showed him.

(On our way to WA!!! So stylish in our shades.)

(This time I'm "looking" but really I'm not cuz I'm driving and sunglasses are sneaky like that.)

We went boating on the Columbia River. (Yes, I said river. We don't really do the whole "lake" thing.)

(Ash Ketchum loves to drive the boat with Grandpa)

We had family pictures. Ah, precious. Ashley a.k.a. Baby Terrorist was not happy to comply.. though she was happy to hit and bite whenever an opportunity presented itself.

The Momsy and I took Ty to the Dairygold Cheese Factory in Sunnyside. Little did we know, they had remodeled since my younger days and therefore, it sucked. Poor Ty. Got his hopes up for nothing. Luckily, we made off like bandits with some Squeaky Cheese!

(Me and Ty posing with a mural at the cheese factory)

(Momsy and Baby T representin)

Ty was a great sport and went to some of my dad and brother's softball games while I went to water aerobics with my Majsha. (Water Aerobics = whatever you're picturing in your head right now.)

(It also might be something like this.)

I also took Ty to the infamous 7-11 where they have the world's largest selection of slurpee flavors. We got the largest sizes and after about half an hour felt the need to purge our bodies of the intense surgar overload.

(The wall of slurpee machines and some sexy people.)

One morning, Ty and I got up super early, walked to a neighbor's house and picked tons of raspberries and strawberries. We made freezer jam baby! (The "we" this time is the Momsy, sister and me) That stuff is gelatinous gold.

(This is me picking raspberries. In case you can't see me, I'm the one in tie dye.)

We watched home videos (per Ty's request.. such an odd person). I think my dad recorded every show there ever was at Disneyland. Three times. Ty was also left wondering why on earth he married me after watching "Wedgie-mania 2000" and several appearances of the baby blanket I still sleep with circa 1994.

For our Farewell Tour we had a nice hot dog dinner as we floated down the Columbia again.

(Crossing the Washington/Oregon border on our way home. Look to the left.. wasteland. Look to your right... wasteland.)

We had a great trip although we did not love the driving part. We took turns driving but almost no sleeping happened. I think it's because we both felt guilty not making sure the other was staying awake. (Mostly we just haven't decided if we really trust each other. I guess we'll have to up the number of trust falls we practice during FHE next week.) We also learned quite a bit about each other. Like how Ty's driving music is Queen and I know all the words to "Don't Stop Me." And how we are so melodious. And how we should probably start a band. And how we'll probably give the White Stripes a run for their money. I'm telling you. "Oh my gosh. That was harmony!"

It was a great trip and we're looking forward to next time, when the only driving to be had will be to and from Salt Lake International :)

Giveaway

I know it's been awhile but there's an awesome giveaway going on for a Shabby Apple dress.. so ready, set, go enter to win!!

http://icandyhandmade.blogspot.com/2011/07/fun-in-sundress-wrap-up-party-and.html?showComment=1311032865041#c6690910244002116902

The Land I Call My Home

I love this country. I love my freedom.

I love the 4th of July.

I have always loved Independence Day but this year I realized more than ever that I am fiercely patriotic. I started to tear up when the veterans passed us in the parade and later when the fireworks burst overhead. Recently Ty has been watching an HBO mini series about John Adams and I'm always blown away by how close to Heavenly Father our founding fathers were to create such an inspired document.

{My second mom and me. And the skirt that I made for the 4th. I asked Ty what he was going to wear for the day and he said that he was unaware the 4th of July warranted its own outfit. Silly Boy.}

Ty and I definitely celebrated our little patriotic hearts out. We headed up to my grandparents' house to celebrate in small town style. We started out with a breakfast at the park followed by a parade. Every primary from every local ward was present as well as the cheerleaders from the junior high and high schools.

{This one's just to show off my skirt some more. I was also teased quite a bit by my uncles because I may or may not look a little like Wonder Woman. My bad.}

During the day we went to the aquatic center and froze our booties off because it decided to get cold for a little while. We went back to my grandparents' for a BBQ with the whole fam bamily and once it got dark we headed back to the park for fireworks.

{Me and Ty at the fireworks.}

When I was little, we would lay blankets out in the outfield and my grandpa would help light the fireworks off from home plate. It was always fun laying down and watching the {still burning} debris fall on top of you. Since then, "they" have decided that's dangerous and you have to have a permit to light fireworks. {crazies} So my grandpa doesn't help anymore and they have professionals light them from a "safe" distance. {Life ruiners. They ruin people's lives.}

Over all, it was a great day. God bless America :)

Yoga

At work today, we had to set up volleyball nets. Generally this is a challenge for me on account of the fact that I am a midget. However, I try my best. The following conversation ensued:

{I'm jumping up and down and finally get a mat to wrap around the top of the v-ball pole}

Male Coworker: Wow. That was really good.

Me: It's probably cuz I'm wearing yoga pants.

MC: Oh, did you do yoga this morning?

Me: No, I just didn't want to get dressed this morning.

Common misconception. I'm just lazy. I can't tell if I'm letting myself go or if it's just summer. I'll let you know when I hit 400 pounds. I might need an intervention.

My Thang

There are only a few athletic activities that I will claim to being good at. One of these things is bowling, as well as volleyball, swimming, lacrosse, and surfing. Just kidding. Just bowling. I will accredit this to all the no school days that my dad would take us down to the alley for the afternoon. And his constant nagging and critiquing of my form, which I am now extremely grateful for. Now, I usually bowl pretty good games and a lot of times I beat everyone we're with.
Ty and I went bowling yesterday. It was part of my recovery from the stones. And I knocked his socks off. Well.. kind of. We played two games and I won the first one and did really terribly the second. {But my first score was still higher than either of Ty's scores :)}

I take bowling really seriously. It's like my score reflects how good of a person I am or if I'm worthy of the air I breathe. So naturally, I reflected quite a bit on why I did so poorly. My conclusion?

Sabotage.

The second game... the black lights came on, the blinking strobe-y lights went wild, the music was beating in my chest and the BEP reminded my that tonight was gonna be a good good night. My toes were tapping and I was busting out dance moves no one has ever seen. {Tyler said he was embarrassed but there were only 5 year olds to judge us so I didn't care.} But the music was messing up my rhythm. My footwork was out of control. I threw my first gutter ball in years. So better luck next time I guess. Sorry I'm such a failure dad.

Kidney Stones.. Part 2

I was at work yesterday morning when basically all hell broke loose. The kidney pain came back.. and I tried to ignore it but I couldn't. I had to ask a coworker if we could set up some V-ball nets about an hour and half early because I thought I needed to go to the E.R. {I think I scared him}

I didn't get very far with the nets when I started to feel my mouth get dry, I told him I had to go, and tried to stop myself from dry-heaving on my way out. I called Ty {note: it was not even 7am yet} and whimpered, "Tyler... Kidney Stones... Kidney Stones." It hurt too much to cry. Then I hopped in my car and drove home. {As of right now, I'm questioning my reasoning}

The details are a little nasty.. just know there was a lot of pain, a lot of dry heaving, and that Lucky Charms were not a good choice that morning.

Ty said that the guy at the ER front desk was a little squeamish when it came to the sound effects I was making.

I finally got in a room and tried desperately to find some position to relieve the pain. {There wasn't one.} I was also begging to be given some kind pain medicine {To no avail.} I wouldn't look as the nurses messed up the veins in both of my arms. {There was blood on the floor.. poor performance.} Good news, I'm not pregnant. Bad news, I got that IV I was so scared of.

{I told Ty he could take a picture but I would not be turning my head for it.}

Tyler was so so great to me. He tried to rub my arm and hold my hand and we learned that I get really really mean when I'm in pain. {"I don't liked to be touched when I'm in pain!"} He said he wondered what labor will be like. I told him I will hate him so he should just be ready for that.

{I decided to humor him but I wouldn't open my eyes... they were real heavy}

Once I did get pain meds, I needed a lot. It kept wearing off. Finally they gave me something amazing and everything turned fluffy. I was in and out of things. I did apologize for throwing up in the nurse's garbage can. She said she was zero percent mad. Thank heavens. They wheeled me out to the car.. I couldn't stand up to save my life. The nurse said that I didn't need to worry, I would have been the skinniest person to ever fall on her... if I did fall.

My Father-in-law came and babysat me while Ty picked up my prescriptions and Kassandra came and babysat me while Ty went to an appointment. I'm pretty sure we both fell asleep but it was nice to have her there. I don't remember anything we talked about.

But good news! No more Kidney Stones! I feel a thousand percent better and it's really comforting knowing that those aren't just going to hit me at any moment anymore. Although, despite the amount of water I drink, it's genetic so I'm just outta luck.

{And for those of you wondering, I did swear. But only words you find in the Bible so I don't feel too bad about it.}

Productive

All day long I've been super productive.

I present:

What I did vs. What I should have done

Slept til 9 vs. get up earlier cuz I worked at 9:30

Perused cookbooks at work vs. Done Homework

Locked myself out vs. Put my keys where they're supposed to go

Sat in front of the AC for 20 minutes vs. ... I don't regret that at all

Made a crock pot dinner {Cross your fingers I didn't burn down the apartment complex} vs. .. don't regret that either

Stalked craft blogs vs. Done homework

Watched YouTube videos vs. Done homework

Researched how to dye my hair with kool-aid vs. Done homework

Blogged vs. Done homework

Procrastination at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.

Lately

We've been busy.. to say the very least. Since I don't have anything clever to say, I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.

We went to Disneyland and this is all we have to show for it.

(Actually we have a ton more pictures .. they're just on Tyler's phone)

Here are some of my creations lately.

This is what I made the mumzies for Mother's Day

I made this for my niece, Ashley, for her first birthday. It was much harder than expected and I highly doubt my own children will be receiving one of these.. EVER.

My sewing desk!

This used to be boy blue but we quickly transformed it into mine :) Turquoise of course. (Mermaid's Song to be exact)

And we just got back from my homeland to witness my baby brother graduate.

For the record, anyone who enjoys graduation ceremonies is crazy. Most boring two hours of my life.

And here's his cute little mug.

The junior girls are so sad he's peacing out...

(I witnessed one nearly hyperventilate from grief firsthand)

That's it for now. I'm sure we'll have something hilarious to share soon.

Kidney Stones

Kidney stones and me- we have a history.
{.. well, not exactly personally.. but we do}

Incident 1
March 1994
My dad is awakened in the middle of the night by searing pain {I don't really know, I'm just assuming. It's really just folklore at this point.} My mom calls the neighbor down the street {Cassie's mom} to come stay with us kids. I wake up to Cassie's mom at our house. She helps us get ready for school. I thought it was kinda fun. My dad had to stay in the hospital for ...? days, hours, years.. I was 5 so the details get hazy. My mom picked us up to go visit him. It was my sister's birthday and we brought her party to the hospital. By party, I mean our family. Sorry if I just killed your visions of pinatas strung up in the hospital stair wells. {I just thought of Grey's and stairwells...}We opened Jessica's presents. She got a Pound Pony. It was kinda like a Pound Puppy but it was huge and it had velcro on the stomach and when you opened it there were babies inside. Baby ponies. I was insanely jealous. That's about all I can remember.

Incident 2
January 2011
We've been married for almost a month now. We were at my In-laws house doing laundry. Ty tells me he doesn't feel well so I tell him to lay down. He lays down for a few minutes and then comes back and hugs me. I realize he's shaking and then he kind of collapses on me and tells me he doesn't feel well. I start to panic a little {a lot} We call in his dad. I start crying. Fast Forward. Hubs is slightly delirious with pain. We go to the ER where they give him two shots in the booty. He gets a CT scan, a nice drug cocktail and they send us home with strainers. {If you don't understand, go ask your mom.} For the next 48ish hour, he is either completely stoned from the pain killers, writhing in pain, or throwing up all his guts. I'm pushing liquids harder than a drug dealer low on cash. The stone passes and my husband exclaims, "It's a boy!"

Incident 3
May 2011
Last Monday: I go to the doctor for a few reasons. After a few tests the doctor tells me I have kidney stones and we'll have to do a CT. Of course, I'm a little alarmed. All I know about kidney stones is from my precious experiences: pain. hopsitals. pain. IV's. pain. Did I mention pain? And what about the part where I drink SO MUCH WATER. And I don't drink soda. So that first day, I was in a moderate amount of pain. And since then I've been just fine, minus the part where I'm drowning myself with all that water. I have had minor pain off and on and I have been woken up in the night from the pain but I have not passed the stone. It's killing me. Not physically killing me. I'm an impatient person so it's killing me that way. I have plans. I don't have time for this. I don't have time to go to the bathroom four times in one hour {true story}. Especially when I work 5 hour shifts. That's 20 bathroom breaks {that hasn't happened so not a true story}.

Also, since my pain has been so mild, I'm getting a little anxious that I'll be in the middle of something awesome {dance moves... basically just dance moves} or somewhere where screaming a string of curse words will be inappropriate {sacrament meeting, teaching Marriage & Family... basically anything involving church} and then BAM the pain will hit me like a 2 by 4 between the eyes. I'll be throwing up and doubled over and begging for relief, praying to have never been born.

So, on to the cranberry juice I guess. I've heard it's a cure-all.
Here's to wishing.

The Bachelorette = Hunger Games

So in a painful twist of fate, my sweet husband is at my beck and call tonight, doing whatever I want to do. So naturally, I chose The Bachelorette season premier. He's good to me. But then he made one of the best observations EVER. The Bachelorette is basically Hunger Games.

1.) Chris Harrison is equivalent to the Gamekeepers. Just when you think you know what's going to happen, he throws in a new rule, a new twist, a new challenge and BAM! your mind has been blown, there's a raging forest fire nipping at your heels and one more person's life was destroyed.

2.) The brain-washed audience has a bird's eye view of the whole spectacle. Everyone knew Katniss was hiding silently in the trees. But they also knew that Rue was just a tree over. The audience also knows that Bentley is a total flat-billed DB ("I'm not all that attracted to her, but I am competitive. I wanted that rose.")

3.) Friend vs. Friend - Ashley S. vs. Ashley H., Peeta vs. Katniss. Although Ashley H. sucked at being a true friend whereas Peeta and Katniss beat the system. Still, Chris Harrison/Gamekeepers, you've done it again.

4.) Alliances/Demise of Alliances - It's a kid/man/woman eat kid/man/woman world. Not to be cliche or anything but I guess all is fair in love and war.

5.) Peacocking. Apparent in both the Bachelor and Bachelorette. (I'm wearing a mask/fangs. I play guitar. I just slapped you.) And then the Hunger Games Opening and Closing ceremonies... they were on fire, literally.

I guess the irony in all of this is that I read Hunger Games AND I spend my Monday nights getting caught up in the drama of this "reality" TV show. It's a little pathetic. Okay, it's a lot pathetic. And I just analyzed this too... Pathetic.

Girls Night Out

I refuse to use the abbreviation for Girls Night Out (GNO). It sounds too much like the lady doctor, or an STD.

Amen.

Simpleton

After our Disneyland adventure, and our frugal spending, we've decided to get ourselves some e-readers. We're probably going with Kindles but of course we did some research first. It's a tough decision- Wi-fi, 3G, some of them have apps like the Ipad etc. So the following conversation ensued.

E: So Wi-Fi means I can download books at home or at school right?

T: yup

E: And 3G means I can download books anywhere?

T: yup.

E: So I don't think I need 3G

T: And I have apps on my phone so I don't need apps on my reader

E: Well what about me? I don't have apps on my phone.

T: You don't need apps. You're a simpleton.

Thank you, now that we have that clear I can go back to skipping rocks at the pond. I probably don't need an e-reader after all.

Kassandra's Wedding

I should have done this last week but there are few things I dislike more than uploading pictures. Two weekends ago, Kassandra and Sam were married in the Mesa Temple. It

was a super quick trip (down Friday night, back Sunday) but it was a WARM break from Utah. And both Kacie and Sam were absolutely glowing all day long.

Mr. and Mrs. Wood

Just look how excited they are to be married :)

They will make really tan babies.

And here are the lovely bridesmaids, just looking good.

And here's a cute pic of Alissa and a really cute pic of Natalie.

Photography by Natalie

The last of the pictures, I don't really know what to say. We were waiting for Kassandra to walk out and Natalie was like, "Emily, I think photography is really my thing. But I need a model."

Then she looked at me with this puppy dog face and I was like, "Natalie, no. I may have a rockin bod but, this is Kacie's big day. You can't just launch your career on her wedding day." But she just kept pushing and prodding so I finally caved once she promised me to go halfsies with the profits.

So I guess I'm a model now, nbd.

Grey's

So Ty and I started watching Grey's Anatomy. Something I once swore I would never do. We're so addicted, to the point that we talk about the characters on a regular basis like they are our friends. Tyler has also started quoting Meredith frequently because she has some fairly pathetic lines every once in awhile. The line Ty has been quoting all morning is when Meredith tells McDreamy he should pick her over his wife that cheated on him. She concludes her monologue with:

Pick me.

Choose me.

Love me.

That's what I've been hearing all morning. With the proper tone and inflection. I scored big when I married Ty.

On the downside, Meredith is always giving McDreamy these steely glares. It makes sense, they were in a relationship when she found out he had a wife. And it's while she's giving out one of these mean looks that Tyler says, "You know, she reminds me of you when you're mad." eh.. Thanks?

Hey you!

Yeah you. The big creep from Rochester that tried to hack my facebook account. The freak who stalks my blog like crazy. Knock it off or I'll delete it. I will.

And if perchance, the person who checks my blog from Rochester is one of my friends, I'd appreciate it if you'd let me know who you are.

Friends... or lack thereof

So Tyler is constantly trying to make me make friends... Probably cuz I've blogged about how I don't have any except for the kind that are moving away from me. cough Natalie cough. Ty's softball league started up last week and he was so excited. I'm talking uniform on an hour early, begging me to leave early so he can warm up with his homies. And he was pleased to inform me that his homie's wives would be there. "You can make friends," he said.

Last week, only one of the wives were there and we hit it off nicely, chatting the whole two {yes, I just said TWO!} games and covering a plethora of topics.

This week on the way to his game Ty said, "Are you excited to see your friend?" I commented in the affirmative. Both wives were there last night and the three of us chatted through both games again. On the way home Ty asked, "Did you make another friend?"

And then he said, "Now that you're friends, next week you can plan something. Like going out to lunch or something. You should hang out. Or at least get each others numbers. What do girls do when they hang out?"

And that was the thing... I don't know what girls do. I know what I do with my sister. And I know what I did with my roommates. But rarely were those ever, "would you like to accompany me to the shopping mall next Tuesday." Well, they were never like that. They always just happened. And generally, late at night.

I asked him what boys do. He said almost instantly, "Play nintendo and play softball."

I probably can't start inviting women over until we both have kids and I can call it a play date.

On another note, Ty has played softball twice this season. Both times, he's come home wounded. Things are not looking good.

Boring Married People

I know it's been awhile but frankly, nothing has been going on. We finished finals up last week and had a great weekend doing nothing with our days off of school. The nothing-ness has been great. Our Netflix Queue is off the heazy and we are well rested.

I'm working on:

• Skirts for Kassandra's wedding
• a "manly" apron for Ty {my pink frilly ones are no good I guess?}
• my niece's stacker toy... more trouble than it's worth. My kids will not be getting one.

We're looking forward to:

• Arizona this weekend {heat!!!}
• DISNEYLAND in a couple weeks {sun!!!} and
• Washington in June.. at least I know it will be {warm} there

A First!!

Just a little bragging moment. I just finished sewing my first ever fitted article of clothing. I usually stick with blankets and aprons but I needed a black skirt for Kassandra's wedding and didn't have one that fit her specifications. So i decided now was a good time to try to sew one. Here's a pic the husband took. I think his Polaroid biz has a very shortening effect... that or the full length mirror is a Taylor Swift mirror (makes you tall and skinny) which can make you feel awesome about yourself but it's very deceiving. I'm hoping it's the first one. Also... don't mind the hair. Mind you, it is 1 o'clock. AM. Sewing to me is basically like pringles.

I promise it looks good on me. It has cute pleats on both sides, pocket and a kick pleat in the back. My hand placement makes me look like I'm just rolling out of the top but.. it's flattering. But I probably can't be trusted. It's 1. I'll just post some pics from the big event and I promise, to God and my country, to do my duty... eh.. not to put my hands like that again. Scout's Honor.

This never works.

Ty and I ran to Macey's tonight to get some lovely drugs for me and the worst sore throat of my life {Not an exaggeration.} As we were pulling out of the parking lot, Ty saw this kid that he went to high school with. The following conversation ensued.

T: I went to high school with that kid. One time he went on a diet where he only ate thinks that start with the letter C. Do you know how many thinks start with the letter C?

E: Cookies

T: Cake

E: Captain Crunch

T: Cereal

E: Chocolate

T: Chips

E: Chocolate Chips

T: Only junk foods start with C

E: Clowns

T: No one eats clowns.

E: I know. Because they taste funny.

And then I started laughing.. belly laughing. It's the only time in my life that joke has ever worked/will ever work. Tyler tried to tell me it wasn't even a real joke but I swear it's on some banana flavored Laffy Taffy... somewhere.

mother unit

This lady...

is a party animal.

{Don't tell my husband I'm blogging. I should be doing homework but I'm sick and I can do whatever I want.}

Anyway.. as I was saying. My mom is so fun. The fam, a.k.a. Mom, Dad and Zach "the third wheel" Stott are enjoying spring break right now in Southern California. Can you say jealous? I can. I get this text from my mahja {that's my mom for those of you that don't speak emil-ese} about five minutes ago that read, "Love Laguna Beach! We are all sunburned. That is what happens when you are lily white." Do you see what she did there? Caution to the wind, all in the name of fun. Love it.

I should be jealous but I have an amazing track record of picking only boyfriends that will take me to California. Don't worry, Ty's already taken me once and we're going again in May. back to my mom.. that's the point of this. She texted me and all I could think about was every other vacay I've been on with her. She is soooo fun.

I remember playing at the beach in Hawaii, just splashing around and then snorkeling, oh yeah.. and then parasailing.... with my 70 year old grandfather. nbd.

I remember running around at Lagoon during a rainstorm, hitting up ride after ride. The place was abandoned by the faint hearted patrons but not us. My cousins and I stripped in the bathroom stalls and wrung out our undies before handing them to our moms to hold under the hand dryers. Like I said, huge rainstorm.

I remember being forced onto Indiana Jones, eyes squeezed tight, screaming at the top of my lungs, "IIIIII WAAAAAANT MMMYYYYY MOOOOOOMMMMM!" She had to stay with the strollers and I was sure I was going to die. Oooops. That one was a bad experience, but my mom wasn't with me which proves my point. She is awesome. And when I went on the ride again, with her of course, it was a very pleasant experience. Some might even say, thrilling.

My point is that I love my mom and I love when we are all together and when we can just let loose and have fun with each other. And one time, on the phone, she said to me, "I'm a cool mom." She hasn't even seen Mean Girls so it must be true.