Husbandisms #10?

I can't tell you how happy I am that I will be laughing for the rest of eternity thanks to this husband of mine. 

So it's a bit of a given that I've gained weight, just not exactly where I expected. The thighs and booty have definitely grown and I've gone up two bra sizes. I was complaining to Ty that I was looking squeezed into my shirts, and not because of my growing tummy. He responded, "Ahh, yes. Busty Girl problems?" 

Watching TV, I saw something with Tom Selleck in it.
E: I'm gonna be real with you. I kinda have a crush on Tom Selleck in his younger years.
T: I put Tom Selleck in the same category as Pierce Brosnan
E: Which category is that? "Men-who-can't-sing?"
T: No, "Men who like to wear suits"

Haha naturally. 

Disney Husbandisms

We would be disappointed if we didn't have something good from Disneyland. Naturally my dear husband had me in stitches frequently during our Disney adventure. Unfortunately the lines and the heat and overall exhaustion took its toll and I just can't remember all of them. Fortunately, there's a few I took note of.

We made a point of doing things we had never done. For Ty, that was watching 'Great Moments with President Lincoln.' After we sat down he said, 'I wonder if this is where Phil Dunphey sat.'

And after we left he said, 'Everyone should be required to watch that everytime they come to Disneyland to renew their sense of American Pride. It's like an America temple.' The funny part was the level of emotion expressed while he said this.

(In all honesty, it was very moving. President Lincoln held this country together in dire times but his message of unity is just as relevant today as it was 150 years ago. The presentation ended with the Battle Hymn of the Republic and it brought me to tears.... As usual)

And of course we have some great pictures taken during some of the rides. Here's the dialogue following this little gem from Space Mountain.

E: Look at that face. That is the face of beauty. (Referring to my own)

T: Look at that face. I did exactly what they didn't want me to do.

E: You did nothing?

T: Exactly. I stuck it to the man. No. I stuck it to the Mouse.

And lastly, this afternoon after we woke up from the nap on our very own bed back in our very own apartment, Ty says, 'How do you think Disneyland is faring without us?' And I responded, 'Not well I suspect.'

We had a great trip, we soaked up the sun and all the Disney magic we could. Until next time, my love. Until next time.

Husbandisms 6

Ty: Did you like my text earlier this morning?
Em: The one about a.m. radio?
Ty: Yeah that's the one.
(It had said, "I may or may not have listened to a.m. radio this morning")
Em: Was it because you felt like an adult on your way to your 9 to 5 job?
Ty: Yes, it just felt like the appropriate thing to do. Just listening to the traffic and the news. I like to be informed.

We're in our parking garage, waiting for people to go up the elevator so we don't have any awkward elevator rides.
Em: Do you think the coast is clear?
Ty: Yeah, I think we're good... but is it "the coast is clear" or "the ghost is clear"?
Em: It's "The coast is clear"
Ty: I think I've been saying "The ghost is clear" ever since I was little
Em: uncontrollable laughter
Ty: I mean, it makes sense. Ghosts are clear!

Husbandisms 5

Ty: I really wish I knew some black kids.
Em: I know some black kids. We had lots in my high school.
Ty: I'm friends with some Mexicans.
Em: They're basically the only minority in Utah.
Ty: Well... I know some red-heads.

Husbandisms 4

These are just the quotes from tonight...

Listening to Pandora and "Christmas Tree" by Lady Gaga comes on
T: Holy cow. Lady Gaga's turned Christmas into a whore holiday.
(If you've heard the song, you know what we're talking about. If you haven't... don't.)

Ty gets home from home teaching
Ty: Their baby was REALLY cute. It didn't look like an alien at all.

Cleaning the kitchen..
T: I like the floor with socks. You can do cool moves.

Ladies and gentlemen.. how did I find this weirdo that's so perfect for me?

Husbandisms 3

I had just gotten home from school, very late in the evening.
T: *big hug* Shall we go change into our red matching pajamas and hang out?
E: Sure.
Five minutes later... as we're both wearing red one piece long underwear.
T: Oh no. What if someone comes to the door?

I brought Ty to a work party with me. I have about 20 coworkers and everyone brought a companion for the evening so the party was huge. Ty was clearly overwhelmed. We were playing Murder in the Dark. We were killed almost immediately so we're sitting quietly with all the other victims in the dark.
T: What would Phil Dunfee do in a situation like this? ... He's a really social guy. He'd have this whole place laughing.

In a teeny tiny voice Ty whispers, "Come here, cooookie." while attempting to fit his hand in his very tall glass to dunk the aforementioned.

And... Grand Finale!!! 

Discussing my past boyfriends
T: You dated some really ugly people. I mean, baby, what were you thinking?
E: *fit of giggles*
T: Seriously baby, admit it. You made some mistakes before you got with this.
E: *giggles continue*
T: Admit it! One day you'll have to come to terms with this.

Husbandisms 2

A conversation about friendships past and present.

E: Some things just have to be fixed over a late night and tears. But I'm married now, so those days are over.
T: If you ever needed to have a sleepover to work things out with your girlfriends, I'd be okay with that.
E: aww. Really? *About to swoon over my sensitive man* What would you do?
T: I'd stay home and play nintendo.
E: *swoonage terminated* So were you saying that because you're a nice person or because you want to play nintendo.
T:Maybe a little bit of both.

T: (chomping down on a slice of French Silk Pie from Village Inn) You know what I think? This pie is from heaven.
E: oh yeah.
T: yeah.. like I think heaven caters to Village Inn.
E: Why would heaven cater to Village Inn when there are plenty of other cool places to cater to?
T: I don't know. Networking?

Ty and I are browsing pinterest. We see a pin that reads, "When you say 'gullibile' out loud, it sounds like 'oranges'." I can see Ty reading it and then... very slowly he says, "orrraannges." There's a brief, albeit awkward, pause. We glance at each other and very timidly he says, "Oh.. they got me. yeah.. .they did."

Husbandisms 1

Ty is hilarious.. and no one knows it because he is so reserved around everyone except for me. So from now on, I'm recording all of the hilarious that comes out of him.

{This picture has nothing to do with anything. But no ones likes a post without pictures!}

As we're making the bed:

T: Don't tuck the sheet in!!!

E: uh.. we're making the bed. I'm making hospital corners.

T: It's just.. I'm not a candy bar.

E: What?!

T: I don't like being wrapped so tight! .. you know, like a candy bar.

In the car, listening to ghetto beats:

T: When we have kids, we're gonna roll like this.

E: jamming to the beat

T: We're gonna have a... what was it again?

E: Oh.. the hamster car?

T: No.. the "something" wagon.

E: Swagger Wagon

T: Yeah.. a Swagger Wagon

We're laying on the couch, in the dark, the credits of Bones are rolling while a piano plays in the background. I'm laying on one half of the sectional and I see Ty sit up on the other side. I glance over to find my sweet husband jamming on his air piano with all of the feeling a concert pianist could ever muster. I fall into a silent fit of giggles, which said husband doesn't notice for a couple minutes on account of his eyes are squeezed shut with all those feelings he was feeling.

We're eating watermelon... straight out of the watermelon.

T: I wonder who cracked open a watermelon and just tried it, you know?

E: I wonder who decided 'oh, it's not poisonous... yet."

T: Like someone just cracked it open and started eating the flesh.

E: I bet this is what they ate in the Garden of Eden. I bet watermelon was everyone.

T: *Makes faces, pretends like he's eating, noises of sheer delight, several "Mmmmm"s*

E: What are you doing?

T: I'm just doing what Adam did when he first had watermelon.

Don't worry, there will be much more to come.