Husbandisms #15: Under the Influence

This last weekend, Ty had another go round with kidney stones. We like to keep ourselves guessing with those bad boys. His medication had a fantastic effect on his already unpredictable sayings. 

While we were trying to manage Ty's pain at home, I left him and Lady Poopington (our child) on the bed while I got a heating pad for him. When I came back he said, "I've told her all the PIN numbers and I told her to take care of you. I love you." Dramatic much?

T: I'm going to need you to do something for me. Since my fingers are not agile, I'm going to need you to be my scribe... For Facebook. I need to post an update.
(This update was nonsensical and had far too many hashtags)

E: (after Ty told me a random story) Do you even know what you're saying?
T: Yes. Errr.. No. Well I think sometimes I think I know what I'm saying.

E: Do you need me to get you another pill?
T: No, I already did. I'm in charge of my own destiny. 

T: You know that Miranda Sings girl? Last night I dreamed that she and I were saving the world. One set of cherry lips at a time. Why are you laughing? It's not funny. Good night skinny tater tot. (I've never been called that or anything close to that before in my life.) 

And this last one, he wasn't on drugs.

T: I need to put some lotion on. I'm as dry as a freaking bald eagle's talon. 

That's all for now. I'm glad I will never be bored. Ever.