Ashamed... So Ashamed

As if Tyler's post wasn't shameful enough... I am now a Utah resident. This was never in my life plan.

NEVER.

I don't think anyone really understands the anxiety I put myself through today. I'm listening to Bob Marley and sipping a thirty two ounce Cherry Coke. Is that any indication?

It actually started this weekend when I started studying for my big written test. Everyone told me not to worry but visions of my fifteen year old self kept flying through my mind. I took the written test three times. THREE. I cried all three times. The first two out of grief, pain, anxiety and sadness that I got all dolled up for nothing. The last time out of joy. Dramatics has always been my line of work.

So the idea of repeating this was freaking me out, plus I haven't been in drivers ed for seven-ish years now. That's a third of my life. Then there was the part where I had to change my name and get my car registered. And I don't know where the heck anything is.

In an effort to streamline the system, I made an appointment for 7:30 this morning {I know, what was I thinking?} and didn't sleep a wink. I woke up at 1:30, 2:30, 3:30, 4:30 and finally got up at 5:30 and showered. {On the bright side, I got all of Selena Gomez's tweets in real time all night long. Perf.} I kept dreaming of failing the test and crying in front of every at the Department of Licensing. I wouldn't put it past me.

This is getting long. I'll wrap it up. I cancelled the appointment, went to school, studied the manual for another hour, collected all my papers and hyperventilated. But seriously. Ty reminded me to breathe and had to do the "three deep breathes" thing. And then it was all soooo much better than I expected.

1. They were nice and answered all my questions
2. When I sat down to take the written test, they handed me the handbook. Open book test. All that studying for nothing!
3. I didn't cry at all
4. It was all in English... that sounds weird but the DMV in WA is bilingual and I was scared they would call my number in Spanish and I would miss it and have to wait for another 2 hours or something.
5. I went to register Roxy {my car}, unsuccessfully BUT it will be easy to do when I go back and Margo {the lady that was helping me} was super nice.

And I get to pick out my plates. I'm having a hard time choosing... Arches or Skier.

Arches are the embodiment of Utah. Everyone recognizes the Arches. It reminds me of driving down during the summer, passing the gigantic Utah sign and honking and screaming in the car. uh, yeah. My family's weird.

But the Skier is a little subdued, a little classier I think. Like maybe I'm a classy Utahan {yuck. I'm a Utahan.} and I escape to my mountain chalet on the weekend with a couple of celebrity friends that Ty and I met on the slopes at Deer Valley. It's probably Fergie and Josh Duhamel {yes please} and we all laugh and swirl our sparkling cider and pretend we're in the the Swiss Alps instead.

So yeah.. moral of the story a) I'm a Utah resident, b)I'm dramatic, c)Fergie and Josh forever.

Emily and the Pink Watering Pot...

So I hacked into Emily's blog to share with everyone a video of just how much Emily cheers me up after I get home from work. While I was at work she decided to go to my most dreaded store, HOBBY LOBBY. She came home with a pink watering pot for our future flowers that she says we are going to plant. So when I got home she had the music going and when I turned my back she had her pot and began dancing, I was lucky enough to catch the video and now I get to share it all with you. (by the way she won't be mad about this at all, you just need to know Emily). This is the interpretation by Emily, The dance of the pink watering pot.

Also, I would like to share with everyone how funny Emily is. The other day she was fake pouting about something and I could hear her whimpering and amid the whimpering I hear (in a high pitched whimpering tone), "MMMM Cheese." (Please Watch video before continuing.)

I started laughing pretty hard just because she and I are just both so random you never know what is going to come out of our mouths.

Grown Ups

So I know we're married and everything... but we just can't do it. And just in case you're in a panic that we're throwing the towel after two-ish months, don't worry. "It" is act like adults.

I made Chicken & Broccoli tonight and went with brown rice instead of the usual white Minute Rice. A small attempt at showing the world that we're ready to face the unknown. Well, bad decision. I mean, we didn't hate it... but we didn't love it either. We're just white rice kind of people. We discussed how brown rice just wasn't for us. Our palettes are just not as refined as we'd like to think.

We stalk the Creamery on 9th for dirt cups.

(Crushed Oreos, Chocolate Pudding, Gummi Worms)

We laugh when we toot.

Olive Garden is fine cuisine to us.

We have to divide the juice boxes evenly among us.

We ate a whole box of Waffle Crisp the day we bought it.

Anyway.. I feel that is a long enough list of why we're not fit for adulthood. Maybe we'll try brown rice again when we're trying to have kids. Until then, we'll continue to play "New York" by Jay Z and Alicia Keys on repeat for entire afternoons and "Jimmer" it up (see previous post for Jimmer reference.. it's not dirty, I promise).

Naptime

On Fridays we get done with class at noon. Which means we take a nap. We had to get up because we got put in charge of the Valentine's Dance (... yeah I don't know.. Feb 25th) This is what happened as we're cuddled in our bed.

(circa an hour before set up time )

Ty: {pushes me and spazzes out} Oh my gosh.. we gotta go to the thing! We gotta go!

E: {annoyed to be awoken from slumber} that's in an hour

five seconds later a phone vibrates.. again

E: Ty get your phone {sternly} It's gone of like a thousand time.

Ty:... That's your phone

E: {more annoyed, gets out of bed, goes to the comfort of facebook in the other room}

Twenty Minutes Later

Ty: EMILY!

E: What?

Two Minutes Later

Ty: EMILY!

E: What?

Tyler stomping from other room, I imagined the Jaws theme.. duh nuh, duh nuh...

Ty: Why did you leave me?

E: Because {puts head down on table}

Ty: You with the hair... look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes right now.

E: NO!

Ty: Look me in the eyes right now..

E: NO!

~Repeat.. a lot~

He gets me face to face, but like every five year old, I just squeezed my eyes shut

Ty: NAP BREATHE!! {breathes in my face}

E: What?! Are you like a super power announcing you super power?

Ty: Exactly.. I AM a super hero.

E: I don't believe you.

I escape his grasp and go back to the bedroom to get my water bottle...

Ty: Look me in the eyes. Why did you leave me!

E: Because you were grumpy. You were pushing me when we were sleeping.

Ty: Excuse me?! I let Clyde get all upon me while we were napping. {P.S. Clyde is what I affectionately call my blankie I've had since I was 8} You were all cuddled up next to me and I had Clyde in my face!

... this banter continued on, tickling and more nap breathe happened. I tried to escape but I ran into our spare room only to remember our apartment is tiny and there are no hiding places to be had. When Tyler pursued me into the spare room.. I screamed. I wonder what the neighbors thought.

I reprimanded him and his response was this:

Ty: Don't speak to me in that discriminatory tone

E: Discriminatory? What.. are you MLK or something?

Ty: Yes. Yes I am an MLK.

E: An MLK? That's not even possible.

Ty: Yes I am an MLK of sorts. I have a dream.. I have a dream that one day Tylers and Emilys will be able to nap peacefully together.

I started laughing of course. No one gets to see this side of my husband except me and it's hilarious. I just know our kids are going to be freaks. I then came into the kitchen and started writing this blog. He followed me and proceeded to "Jimmer." It's a dance he made up... I just don't get him but I love him. That's all that matters right?

We Are Family :)

Big big news in the Stott Family... this little guy....

who is now this big guy..

just got accepted to BYU. I can't tell you how happy I am!! I have my own kin on this campus again... being married is one thing, but having another human who escaped the same womb is entirely different. I know he already has plans of borrowing my car but that's alright cuz I already have plans of borrowing his meal card.

Last time I attended the same school as my brother, we were in elementary school. I was in 5th, he was in 1st, the details get hazy. I mean, when he was in 8th and I was a Senior, I had the pleasure of driving him to school everyday. The schools were ten minutes from our house. The perfect amount of time for our daily playlist.

Girlfriend-Avril Lavigne

Party Like a Rockstar - I have no clue

At Your Funeral-Saves the Day

I love him.. and I'm so excited to see him, hopefully on a daily basis... or a every/other kinda deal. Oh well... we have plenty of time to discuss particulars.

As for the Gardner Clan, not too shabby either.

This strapping lad also got into BYU.

You know what that means!!! Double the fun... and double the Dining Plus.

I wish I could say more about Matty here but we haven't known each other so long. He reminds me a lot of Zach so maybe just read this post again. Just kidding. I love Matticus very much. He's so boyish sometimes and he's always been so good at making me feel part of the family. He's also a really really good boy. Both of these boys remind me of the line by Taylor Swift that says,

"God smiles on my little brother, inside and out,

he's better than I am."

That about sums these boys up.

And one more thing,

Ladies- you better watch out. HEARTBREAKERS :)

Congrats Zach and Matty! We love you both!

I love...

It's Valentine's Day and I just feel that it would be inappropriate of me not to post some lovin on the world wide web. So here are some little things I love:

• the beach
• .. and these people
• Disneyland
• sleeping with socks
• sewing and baking and sharing
• MAIL! (feel free to send me some whenever you'd like)
• Snoozenod, my garden gnome/bff #2... but sometimes he's naughty and leaves the toilet seat up because surely my husband wouldn't do such a thing.
• Great movies and books

And these are the things/people that I couldn't live without

• My Husband Man/Best Friend/Calmer Downer/Fixer of Freak-outs
• My family-immediate, extended, new and adopted
• The Gospel

I should probably also gush a little about Mr. Husband. There are lots of reasons I love him. I'll give you a couple:

• When I am bummed, or a grouch, sometimes he just dances so I'll laugh
• Whenever he's trying to avoid doing something, he tries to make me cuddle with him because in his words, "You can't resist a cuddle!"
• He lets me hog the bed basically ever night. I cuddle right up to him and set up camp for the rest of my slumber
• He lets me purchase chocolate covered almonds from Costco on a regular basis even though I don't really share them like I claim I will
• When I do yoga in the living room, he always cheers me on.. not exactly necessary or helpful since I tend to lose my balance and laugh, but definitely supportive
• He's shy around strangers but hilarious around me. I like to think that he just saves it all for me because he loves me.
• Oh yes, and he's so dramatic. Probably more than me. So our conversations are always entertaining and our future children are absolutely doomed. DOOOOOOMED.... to awesomeness that is.

The Challenge

So one day Tyler was at work and I was left to my own devices, i.e. infomercials. After about thirty minutes I was very convinced that this should be mine. So when Ty returned from work, I told him of my newfound need and made a deal with him. If I worked out everyday in February (minus Sundays) he would consider purchasing it for me.

I didn't think it was going to be that easy. He doesn't think I can actually work out for a whole month. What he doesn't know us that I don't take challenges lightly.

Example: Two summers ago, I end up on a blind date with one of my sister's ex boyfriends {yuck} For the record, he looked more like a Who than anyone I've ever seen. We were bowling when he found out that my current line of work was in the ice cream parlor business. He made a bet that whoever lost would have to take the winner out to ice cream at my place of employment. And then I threw it down. Number 1: There wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that there was going to be a round two of this date, Number 2: I do not pay for boys, only husbands, Number 3: Has anyone seen me bowl before? I'm the best! No one saw it coming.

In conclusion, the Who-man lost the game and his dignity that night. {Not only was he denied by one Hottie Stottie but two wuahaha} Oh yeah. And I WON!

What I'm saying is that Tyler doesn't know what he got himself into. I'm on day four, and yes my body is in agony but I'm going strong. And after some personal reflection, I don't even know how much I want TurboFire. I think I just want to prove Tyler wrong. It's all about winning, right?