Husbandisms 4

These are just the quotes from tonight...

Listening to Pandora and "Christmas Tree" by Lady Gaga comes on
T: Holy cow. Lady Gaga's turned Christmas into a whore holiday.
(If you've heard the song, you know what we're talking about. If you haven't... don't.)

Ty gets home from home teaching
Ty: Their baby was REALLY cute. It didn't look like an alien at all.

Cleaning the kitchen..
T: I like the floor with socks. You can do cool moves.

Ladies and gentlemen.. how did I find this weirdo that's so perfect for me?

Unsolved Mystery

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. 

LITERALLY. 

I woke up on my husband's side and he woke up on mine.

We have no idea how it happened. I rolled over and looked at him and then kinda growled, "What am I doing here?!" I thought maybe he went to the rest room, got too lazy upon his return and climbed in on my side. False. He never went to the restroom. He suspects that I steam-rollered him in the night. How do you not notice if you're being steam-rollered? I may be small but I'm not that small. I guess we'll never know.. 

{This is the usual routine... not last night tho}

Husbandisms 3

I had just gotten home from school, very late in the evening.
T: *big hug* Shall we go change into our red matching pajamas and hang out?
E: Sure.
Five minutes later... as we're both wearing red one piece long underwear.
T: Oh no. What if someone comes to the door?

I brought Ty to a work party with me. I have about 20 coworkers and everyone brought a companion for the evening so the party was huge. Ty was clearly overwhelmed. We were playing Murder in the Dark. We were killed almost immediately so we're sitting quietly with all the other victims in the dark.
T: What would Phil Dunfee do in a situation like this? ... He's a really social guy. He'd have this whole place laughing.

In a teeny tiny voice Ty whispers, "Come here, cooookie." while attempting to fit his hand in his very tall glass to dunk the aforementioned.

And... Grand Finale!!! 

Discussing my past boyfriends
T: You dated some really ugly people. I mean, baby, what were you thinking?
E: *fit of giggles*
T: Seriously baby, admit it. You made some mistakes before you got with this.
E: *giggles continue*
T: Admit it! One day you'll have to come to terms with this.

Bandwagon

Well.. it's that time of year that everyone posts about everything they're thankful for.. especially their dogs they love so much. It's Day 3 and you're running out of people already? {Who doesn't love animals? This girl.} And it's good that we are thankful but it's even better to be thankful all year long, not just because of this supposed holiday where we stole the Indian's land. {I've seen Addams Family Values... I know the truth}

Wow, this is starting to sound mean. I just don't like dogs. {One time, I got home and my roommate was sobbing under her covers and I asked her what was wrong and she wouldn't tell me. It was only months later I found out her dog died and she wouldn't tell me because she knew of my apathy towards animals and knew I wouldn't care. She was probably right.} Wow. Are there enough segues yet? Didn't think so. 

Another time, a roommate and I were really down on ourselves. Our dating lives were less than amazing and both of us had experienced some heartbreak. We decided that we didn't need a guy to make us happy.. and then we burned our bras. Just kidding. Then we decided we would find things to be happy about. So we started texting each other every hour while we were at school. Our texts would include what we were thankful for, and they could be as serious or silly as we wanted. And you know what? There was a change in a single day. And we did this for a couple weeks. And we were happy. And now we're both married and happy.{Note: We didn't meet our husbands the next day or anything.. this was actually like two years before I got married and she got engaged.) What I'm saying, is that when we're thankful, what we have is all we need. 

So right now, my mom-mobile is dead and we live in a dinky apartment and I don't have a dishwasher BUT I'm thankful for my sweet husband, my eternal marriage, my education, the proximity of my apartment to my school, my best friends, my little brother, the gospel, Harry Potter, heat, extended family, Netflix, and the Internet to Skype with my niece, Ash Ketchum. 

{Me and my sweet husband... and our eternal marriage}

So be thankful. Always. 

Halloweenie

Welp, this was our first Halloween together. (Last year didn't count - Ty had to work. Boo.) And we were having a really hard time coming up with costume ideas. We knew we wanted to go as a couple. That's the joy of being married. So I was coming up with jillions of couples costumes and Ty was pretty down on all of them. Except Angela and Dwight from The Office... and I said no to that because I wanted to look cute and I hate cats.

Anyway, we finally decided on something and come Saturday morning, we set out on our quest for some red long Johns. And boy what a quest it was. The amount of time spent in the car could have easily gotten us to St. George. This was our itinerary for the day. 

1. Savers
2. Target
3. Wal-Mart
4. Uncle Sam's
5. Five Guys (Pit Stop.. we were losing focus)
6. Costco
7. Sport's Authority
8. Wal-Mart.. again
9. K-Mart
10. Sportsmans Warehouse 

We finally found our beloved long johns at Sportmans Warehouse but we were so exhausted that we happily spent way too much for long underwear. We were so desperate, we considered dyeing white long johns and then decided that we didn't have enough time and we'd just go with sweats. But I'm telling you, those babies were worth the trouble. 

 

We were Mr. and Mrs. Incredible!! And dang, we looked good. A few funny things about this picture, these are one piece long johns therefore my main concern of the night was allowing myself enough time in the restroom so I wouldn't wet my pants. Second, Tyler and I are wearing the same size of women's underwear.  On the bright side, they were a little large on me. So a very successful Halloweenie indeed. Give us ten years, and we might have the rest of the Incredible family. 

Husbandisms 2

A conversation about friendships past and present.

E: Some things just have to be fixed over a late night and tears. But I'm married now, so those days are over.
T: If you ever needed to have a sleepover to work things out with your girlfriends, I'd be okay with that.
E: aww. Really? *About to swoon over my sensitive man* What would you do?
T: I'd stay home and play nintendo.
E: *swoonage terminated* So were you saying that because you're a nice person or because you want to play nintendo.
T:Maybe a little bit of both.

T: (chomping down on a slice of French Silk Pie from Village Inn) You know what I think? This pie is from heaven.
E: oh yeah.
T: yeah.. like I think heaven caters to Village Inn.
E: Why would heaven cater to Village Inn when there are plenty of other cool places to cater to?
T: I don't know. Networking?

Ty and I are browsing pinterest. We see a pin that reads, "When you say 'gullibile' out loud, it sounds like 'oranges'." I can see Ty reading it and then... very slowly he says, "orrraannges." There's a brief, albeit awkward, pause. We glance at each other and very timidly he says, "Oh.. they got me. yeah.. .they did."

Old age becomes you

We're getting old. 

We don't like to go anywhere after 9:00pm.  And our social life consists of eating dinner together and possibly watching an episode of Greys or Modern Family.. if we don't do homework, or just go to bed. 

But mainly, my desire to be tan has been overcome by my desire to not get skin cancer. 

But at least we're getting old, together.